In business, as in life, you seem to learn from many different sources. Everything from the latest “How-To” books, to seminars and workshops, formal education and sage advice from our elders and mentors provide us with many opportunities to learn.

One of the most powerful teachers you have in life is your own experience.

The Power of Emotions

Almost everything you have done in life can be classified into two categories – things that worked, and things that have not worked. Intellectually as you look ahead, you might reasonably expect to experience things that work and things that do not work. Yet emotionally, most of us expect everything in the future to work.

Then when things don’t work, you get frustrated, upset, disappointed or angry. Go figure.

This can be a very effective tool for learning. It is the emotional content that allows us to learn so much from things that didn’t work. Have you ever heard yourself say, “I’ll never do that again!”

It is as if the little scars that life deals to us, quietly teach us the things to avoid. Too often, you learn all too well and start closing down your possibilities, becoming resigned to the way life is.

What if that emotional content could be mined to get the learning without stopping you from participating and playing in life, and in business?

It’s Like Weight Training

When you work out, the dynamic that allows you to get stronger is actually failure. As you lift that weight for a number of repetitions, the micro-fibers within the muscle are tearing. Then, when they heal (over the next day or two) they over compensate and heal stronger. That is why people are advised to work a particular muscle group every other day rather than daily. That allows the natural healing process of the body to make the affected muscles stronger through their healing process.

When you have mastered a particular weight, you then move to a bigger weight and start again. Notice that there is no upset about the movement to a bigger weight, with its inevitable micro-fiber damage that will occur. On the contrary, this progress is celebrated. You are able to accomplish more, so you take on the new weight with the positive energy and excitement that accomplishment gives you.

What if you could separate yourself from the grip of emotions associated with the “micro-fiber” damage that occurs outside the gym?

First Things First

To do this, the first thing you want to do is to make sure that you don’t hurt yourself too much. In the gym, if you strain a muscle, it is a good idea to take a few extra days off to let the body heal.

If you break a bone playing sports, as I did with my shoulder last summer while playing hockey, then the time off is longer. Yet, if you love the sport (as I do with hockey), you will eventually be back to play. You nurse yourself back to health and then get back at it again.

Similarly, there are “injuries” in business that take a little more than a day or two to heal. While remaining responsible for yourself and growing stronger before reengaging, you may also want to see what you might learn from your experiences.

Mining Your Experience

Below is a template of questions that allows you to learn from the things in life that have not worked the way you intended. The key to effectiveness with the use of this tool is to do two things:
Go to the “what” of the situation, and avoid the “why”.
Keep asking a particular question until you don’t have any more answers.

The questions to ask yourself to use this tool are as follows:

1. What happened?
2. What specifically didn’t work?
3. What was missing?
4. How might I have acted differently, if I had it to do again?
5. What would make a difference in this type of situation, looking from today forward?
6. What did I learn from this?
7. What structural changes are available or necessary?
8. What opportunities do I see?
9. What are the next steps?
10. Anything else?

Armed with this little template of questions, you will find yourself learning great and valuable lessons from many of those events in your business (and in life) that, until now may have caused you nothing more than pain.